Writing Wednesday: Mr. NaNoWriMo

It is not often that I can boast of meeting such famous celebrities here in the Midwest.  I always feel those privileges are reserved for residents of New York City or Los Angeles.  But last night I had the opportunity to hear Chris Baty - Mr. NaNoWriMo himself - speak at our local library, and he was indeed a celebrity to all those in attendance.

I wan't sure what to expect, since registration was not required and it was a free event, so I arrived about a half hour prior to the 7:00pm start time.  A few were already seated, laptops in tow, working on their novel while waiting for the guru.  I was able to find a nice end spot about three rows from the front.  The perfect place to capture a couple of pictures while remaining somewhat inconspicuous.

Chris arrived shortly afterward for set up, and I was surprised by how tall he was and... how much he smiled.  He is such a pleasant person to be around.  He brought a couple of books to share, and had a typed speech available for a quick review.  He is quite professional.

The room filled up quickly and he began at 7:00pm on the dot.  I like a punctual speaker.

He began by telling us a little bit about himself (he was actually born and raised in Prairie Village, Kansas and his hometown library was the Corinth branch).  In fact, his father was in the audience, supporting his son in this endeavor, which explains why Chris is so supportive of every one of us.

He gave a brief history of the NaNo phenomenon:  it began in 1999 as a wild and crazy idea.  Chris emailed his contact list saying that he was going to write a novel in a month and would love some company.  The email was sent May 30th and the first NaNo event was held July 1st, with 21 participants.  Most of the writing occurred in coffee shops using laptops ... which Chris was quick to remind us that in 1999 coffee shops were not wired for writers and laptops were as big as a washing machine.  The budding novelists brought their own power strips, orange extension cords, and set up shop for thirty days.

The next year the participant list grew by word of mouth, with 140 writers taking part.  The following year saw a total of 5,000 participants and the numbers have increased ever since.  This year, which marks the 15th anniversary, the website shows just shy of 300,000 registered writers.  Chris has participated and won every year.

The one point that he repeated over and over - which we all needed to hear - is that NaNoWriMo is not intended to promote quality writing; rather it is to focus on quantity.  One problem we writers face, however, is that we also love to read.  And when we sit down on November 1st to set out on this quest, we are comparing our first draft to the polished prose of the novels we read.  We simply cannot do that.  All first drafts are awful... period.  And to prove his point, he read a bit of dialogue from one of his first drafts.  And you know what?  It was indeed awful -- and I can't imagine how many writers (including myself) he inspired by doing that one humble act.

Bottom line:  We need to learn to lower our standards on first drafts.  The bar should be raised in the  revision process, but we need to be willing to allow imperfection (and sometimes downright awfulness) in the first draft phase.  One of his quotes of the evening was, "You can always revise a bad draft into a good novel; you can only revise a blank page into a blank page."

One tip he shared for those of us who have a difficult time turning off the internal editor was:  set the font to white and just start writing.  You can't see the words on the page and that is enough to silence the critique for a while.

Chris stated that novels are not written by novelists, but by everyday people who have a story to share (therefore... if you think about it... we all have a story to share ergo, we are all writers).  He surmised that the reason we don't have more people writing novels (or.... completing any kind of creative endeavor)... is NOT because we lack talent; NOT because we lack self-discipline; but rather because we do not have a deadline.  NaNoWriMo is intended to help with that hurdle.

He told a short anecdote of the first year and how the pact between friends was they were not allowed to go to the bathroom until they had written a thousand words.  Now, they were in a coffee shop, after work, guzzling coffee to try to stay awake.  This was true motivation!

Since NaNo's inception, there have been 200 traditionally published novels drafted during the event; 9 best selling novels; and currently 1 major motion picture (Water for Elephants).  Who knows how many countless more novels could be added to these numbers if we would take the time to revise our first drafts.  Food for thought....

The final tip of the night, before he volunteered to sign autographs, was this:  FINISH

I absolutely loved the evening!  And while Chris gave some great advice for the NaNo event, I believe much of what he said could be applied to life in general.  Lower the bar - set goals with deadlines - and commit to finishing the task at hand.

Writing Wednesday: A NaNoWriMo Panel

Our local library is fully on-board with the NaNoWriMo fever.  They offer weekly write-ins (typically on Wednesday nights) and a couple of special programs.  The first one was last night and I thought I would summarize what I learned.

The event was a panel discussion where the authors answered prepared questions which focused on their writing journey from novel inception to publication, as well as their personal writing process.  Those in attendance included:

• Gennifer Albin (Crewel)
• Leigh Bardugo (Shadow and Bone)
• Jessica Brody (52 Reasons to Hate My Father)
• Anne Aguirre (Enclave)

Question 1:  How long does it typically take you to write the first draft?

Answers of course varied by author but typically a first draft was written between six weeks and four months with another two to six months of revision before ready for submission.

Two of the authors said that they typically write 50,000 words a month - every month - not just for a special project like NaNoWriMo.  In other words… writers write!

They also commented on the importance of completing a work.  Many of them had quit projects after just one or two chapters.  "A messy first draft is far better than several perfect first chapters"

In addition, many of them truly enjoy world building, or character development (or in my case… historical research).  But they all cautioned that a writer cannot allow these useful tools to become distractions to writing the draft.

In addition, they all said that they are usually working on at least two different projects at one time:  writing a draft of one and completing revisions on another.

Question 2:  Where do you find inspiration for your stories?

Again, the answer varied by author but in essence they all said … ideas are everywhere - from overhearing casual conversations at the coffee shop, to watching the evening news, to just people watching at the mall or park.  Jessica Brody volunteered that the idea for 52 Reasons came when she was parked outside a building and watched the meter maid make the rounds.  She wondered what it might be like to be a meter maid … just for a week.  And that led her to wonder what other jobs she might like to try for a week.

She shared that "what if" is a powerful tool.  Her tip of the day was to take any non-fiction story - and ask what if … find a way to make it "cooler"

Question 3:  How do you structure your novel?  What is the process?

Again, the answers varied.  Some authors had a general idea of the characters, the fictional world in which they lived, and a basic story line, but the process was organic.  They allowed the story to go where it desired.

Others were more structured, like Jessica Brody, who utilizes the Save the Cat method.  In essence this screen play structure of 15 beats can also be applied to novel writing.  (as a side note, I have this book reserved at my local library)

One author had always been a linear writer until one day she was stuck.  So instead of fretting on what came next, she decided to write a scene she wanted.  In the end, she found this method quite liberating and now rarely writes in linear fashion.  Often she will start with the end, then write the beginning, then ping pong back and forth until she concludes in the middle.

Final question:  How long did it take from finished draft to publication?

A loaded question, to say the least.  While some of them shared a Cinderella story, that is, the first agent signed them within a week and had the manuscript sold within days…. they were also quick to note that there was a lot of behind the scenes writing before that magical moment.

I particularly enjoyed Anne Aguirre's candid response.  She wrote her first novel at the age of fifteen and received her first rejection a year later.  This did not deter her, however,  In fact, over the course of twenty years she wrote numerous novels, all them rejected.  She realized she was writing to the market rather than her passion, and so finally sat down and wrote the novel of her dreams.  Her agent tried to convince her to tweak it, but she held firm.  In the end, she left that agent, found another, and Enclave became a bestseller.  Quite the inspiring story!

The panel discussion was only an hour… but there was a lot of useful conversation.  I am most definitely glad that I attended, and I am looking forward to next Wednesday when Chris Baty,  the founder of NaNoWriMo, will be presenting the history and future of this November writing event.

A Day of Firsts

November 1st:  The first day of NaNoWriMo and the first day of a new 365 project (and for some members of my family, the first day of the Christmas season).  I promise I won't give constant updates on these personal challenges, but it did seem appropriate today.

Today's photo showcases just a few of the books that I have used to research my NaNo project.  I did not include any of the adult non-fiction books relating to the French Impressionists that I have read over the past three years, although the three pink moleskins at the top are filled with notes from those books.

Most of these books are in fact children's books, historical fiction of 19th Century Paris, written for an audience that is similar to the middle grade audience I will target.  A couple of the books are adult historical fiction novels which focus on the ballet dancers of Degas' famous paintings, a major component of my storyline.

And while I have read more books than I can count over the past several months on the craft of writing, these two books, which focus specifically on writing children's literature, are the ones that I am currently reading.

I love to write, and I look forward to devoting more time to this pursuit… but I adore research:  reading and learning something new, taking notes, organizing information, and planning the project.  It would be quite tempting to lose myself in the research and never follow through on writing the novel.  I need to mindful of this and discipline myself to find an appropriate balance.

So here's to the start of a new season, a new project, and a new vocation…. perhaps life does begin again at the age of fifty.

Here Goes Nothing...

For most children (and some adults) October 31st is greatly anticipated because of Halloween:  the opportunity to dress up and play pretend while gorging on lots of free candy.  For a few literary folks, however, October 31st is significant because it is the Eve of NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) when passionate (crazy?) authors commit to writing 50,000 words in 30 days.  I, along with nearly 200,000 other writers have committed to this lofty goal.

Do I expect to have a well-crafted publishable novel by the end of the month?  Hardly.  I expect to have a mess… but I also expect that somewhere in that mess is a nugget of story that can be mined, shaped, and crafted into a decent narrative, if I am willing to do the work of several revisions.

The goal of this sprint writing, for me anyway, is not to have a polished novel, but rather to stop procrastinating and just get the story down.  I have been mulling and researching and developing this idea for nearly four years and the time is right.  In fact, it is my secret desire to just put nose to grindstone, start writing tomorrow and hit the 50,000 word goal by November 22…. but I won't say that too loud so as not to set myself up for failure.

The advantage to writing at this breakneck speed is that there is no time to stop and review --- I just need to plow ahead and keep writing, no matter what.  There is no time to allow the inner critic to voice his negative commentary, nor to let the editor stop and agonize over the proper word choice or correct punctuation.  I will be required to remain in that unfamiliar "right brain" territory - the land of the creative, and not retreat into my comfortable "left brain" territory - the land of detailed analysis.  There will be plenty of time for that after December.

Do I fear failure?  Well, I suppose it depends on what you consider failure.  Do I fear that I won't complete the goal?  Yes.  I have actually attempted NaNoWriMo three other times, but only successfully completed the challenge the first year (and even then, I never finished the story, just the word count).  But I know that whatever I write this month will be more than I would have written if I didn't try… and that is not failure - that is progress.

So… here goes nothing.. and I am very excited!

Writing Wednesday: NaNoWriMo 2013....

As I reported on Sunday, I have not done much writing lately ... but I have thought a lot about writing, does that count?  That is a rhetorical question because I know the answer is "NO"  Writers write.  Period.  And no excuse will fill that void.

But I do have two bits of writing news to share ... and writing news that I hope will propel me forward in developing a regular writing routine.

For quite some time I have thought that I need to be a part of a writing group.  While I am typically quite reserved and shy away from any kind of personal sharing, I know that in order to grow as a writer I must be willing to put myself out there... be vulnerable... and learn to accept constructive criticism.

I have conducted Google searches at least twice over the past several months, but without success.  On Sunday I tried again... and I thought I used the same search terminology... but somehow I stumbled upon HACWN --- Heartland of America Christian Writers' Network.  I reviewed the site and discovered that they meet on the first Thursday of the month at a location about ten minutes away from my house!  Coincidence?  I'm not sure...

I emailed two of the directors to see if this might be a good fit for me and both of them responded with supportive, encouraging comments.  So, I plan to attend the monthly meeting tomorrow (that is, if I can overcome my fear of walking into a room where I know no one...) and I might even be brave enough to participate in one of the many monthly critique groups.  I will be sure to report back next week to let you know how it goes.

The other writing news is that it is less than one month until November 1st which as many of you know is National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo).  The premise of this annual event is that fictional writers from all over the world gather together online and write 50,000 words in 30 days.  I participated for the first time in 2010 and I actually completed the goal, although I never finished the project.  I skipped 2011 and tried again in 2012 but unfortunately life took over and I only managed to write 8,500 words in the first week before I gave up.

For some reason this novel idea that I have had since 2011 refuses to leave my brain.  In fact, I have almost become obsessed with the concept.  I know the protagonist and antagonist; I have the introduction and the conclusion; I even have the structure in place that will allow me to "educate" as well as (hopefully) entertain.  What I am missing is a compelling conflict.  However... I think the time has come for me to get the story out of my head and onto paper.  Perhaps in writing the scenes... the conflict will present itself.  Perhaps not.  But I think this is the year to go forward with all I got.

I will use the month of October to continue to research the historical aspects of the novel (although a large part of that is complete and properly stored in Scrivener) as well as work on the ebook idea that I will not abandon, Finding Joy in the Moment:  Spiritual Lesson through Photography.  I am ready to be serious.  I am ready to take this next step.  And I am excited.

Writing Wednesday: A Process

Since posting the idea for my ebook, Finding Joy in the Moment:  Spiritual Lessons through Photography, I have had several people ask if this will be available for human eyes.  Translation:   Molly, are you going to let others read this, or just keep it hidden on your hard drive?  While it is most definitely outside my comfort zone to voluntarily create an environment where I am vulnerable to critique and criticism, I know that this is a necessary step in my writing progress.  So yes, the ebook will be available for others to read... at some point.

But writing is work, long laborious work, and there is a natural process from inception to publication which involves several steps.  While there is no one right formula to follow, I thought it might be helpful to outline my writing process for those who are waiting to read this collection of essays.

There are essentially two categories of writers:  the Pantsers and the Planners.

The Pantsers are those who "fly by the seat of their pants" - they are struck with an idea and they run with it.  Sometimes they write themselves in a corner and have to backtrack to work themselves free; sometimes they stall in the middle and wait for further inspiration; sometimes their writing takes several bunny trails to reach the end and there is quite a bit of necessary revision to clean it up.  They are never at a loss for ideas, however, and often this creativity allows them to complete a rough draft in record time.

The Planners, on the other hand, like to organize the project from beginning to end before writing a single word.  Often they will structure an outline with not only broad chapter descriptions, but detailed plot points every step of the way.  Once they begin writing, the book practically writes itself.  There are few unnecessary diversions because the path to the end is clearly marked.  The mushy middle is not quite as murky because the stepping stones are already in place.  There is still a revision process required, but there are few bunny trails to rewrite.

For those of you who know me well, there is no doubt which writing camp I belong.  However, I do not plan every significant detail before I begin.  I like to allow some organic growth to take place; some insights or direction that I can only gain by writing.

Then there is the matter of research.  For any book, whether fiction or non-fiction, some research must take place if the story is going to ring true.  Facts should be double checked and a dictionary is an essential tool to fully understand the meaning of words.  Some writers save this necessary detail until the first draft is complete.  They are most concerned with getting the draft written, so they mark the passages where additional information is required and keep on writing.  Other writers try to anticipate the research needs prior to starting the project and develop reference notes that can be accessed during the draft phase.  I tend to fall in this latter group.  Research helps me to flesh out ideas, as well as gives me a firm grounding in my content area.

At this point in my Work in Progress (WIP) I have developed a rough outline that consists of fifteen chapters.  I have written 2-3 sentences on each chapter's index card that summarizes the general points.  I have arranged the index cards in what I think is a logical progression for the book.  And I have written a very rough draft of the introduction and first two chapters.  Currently the word count is approximately 1,500.  I know that each of these areas can be further developed however, so I think each essay will be approximately 1,000 words.

As in any creative endeavor, there is value in deadlines.  It serves as motivation which is a catalyst for inspiration.  While there is no outside force to establish this deadline, after all it is my own idea for my own pleasure, it would be very easy to say that I will complete it whenever...  But we all know that life will get in the way, and I do want to finish.  I want to see if I actually have what it takes to be a "writer" and for that reason alone I am setting the deadline of November 1st to complete the rough draft. This seems quite manageable:  15,000 words in approximately six weeks.  But November 1st is also significant because it marks the beginning of NaNoWriMo, in which I would like to participate.

Now.... this does NOT mean that the book will be ready for human eyes.  I know plenty of revisions as well as detailed edits will need to be made, and I have recently entertained the idea of including photographs to help illustrate the spiritual lessons.  While I have some usable photos on my hard drive already, I know I will need to supplement with others.  Unfortunately I won't know what pictures to take until I finish the project.  However, in an effort to keep myself accountable I will set a tentative deadline of December 31st to complete all written revisions and edits, February 28th to complete all photographs, and March 24th for publication (end of spring break).

I anticipate a big challenge in learning how to compile the manuscript, with pictures, in a suitable format for ebook publication.  I will more than likely opt to use PDFs as it is the most versatile and can be read on a variety of computers or other electronic devices and ereaders.  I have no idea what costs I might incur, but that is the least of my worries at the moment.

For now, I will write.

Sunday Salon: Writing ..AND.. Reading

It is taking a while to get into my new teaching routine, but I shall be there soon.  This week yearbook duties were successfully transferred to a capable replacement, and I should now be able to enjoy my new weekly schedule of working three-days followed by a four day weekend.

A portion of this additional free time is reserved for my writing endeavors, and I have had a rather productive week in that regard.  On September 1st I began a free online writing program hosted by Cat Wearring entitled, 30 Day Product Creation Challenge, where the goal is to write an ebook in a month's time.  Cat sends a daily email with a motivational message and exercises designed to keep us focused and stay on task.  While I have enjoyed reading the daily assignments, it wasn't until yesterday that they all seemed to culminate into a personal epiphany.

This is not another NaNoWriMo event where the goal is to write a 50,000 word draft of a story any which way you can; it is far more manageable, and Cat even offers suggestions for finding a viable idea.  Writing fiction is significantly outside my comfort zone, but for some reason I have not found a suitable non fiction topic to sink my teeth into.  I know that I want to practice travel writing, and I have a few memoir ideas, but nothing has grabbed my attention and ignited my passion to write for my own pleasure.

But as I was reading through this list of possible ideas (for the second or third time) I realized something:  I have been waiting for the 'blockbuster' idea rather than writing the smaller pieces.  I have placed such unrealistic expectations on this first writing endeavor that I set myself up for failure before I have had a chance to begin.

Writers write.  And I just need to follow that axiom.  I shouldn't worry about the size of the project or the audience appeal, I should just write what I know and what I feel needs to be told.

So this week I will be working on my ebook project:  Finding Joy in the Moment:  Spiritual Lessons through Photography.  I currently have twelve chapters outlined and an introduction drafted.  I have not been this excited about a personal project in a long time, and I look forward to the work and the joy I know it will bring.

On the reading front.... the heat wave broke in the midwest and cooler temperatures have finally arrived.  With the advent of this fall-like weather, my youngest and I have embarked on a Harry Potter read-athon.   While there is no deadline to complete this goal, it is my hope to have the entire series read by the end of the year.

I believe this is about the third or fourth time Mandy has read the books, but it will be my first.  I own the entire series in a variety of formats:  hardback, audio, and blue-ray video (I am most definitely committed to the series, I just have not made it a reading priority). While I do not typically listen to audiobooks (I find it difficult to follow without focusing on the written word), I am hoping the soothing accent of Jim Dale will help me to overcome this issue.

I have read the first five chapters of The Sorcerer's Stone and hope to read more on this relaxing Sunday.  The audiobook is loaded on my iPhone and I plan to listen while driving to and from school.  Hopefully I can finish the first book this week and then give a brief review in the next Sunday Salon.

A Passion for Writing

A couple of weeks ago I posted an endorsement for the Craft and Vision collection of photography ebooks.  The website was celebrating its 4th anniversary and in its honor  offering 50% off the (almost) entire collection.  For a twenty dollar bill I ordered several photography "how-to" books, as well as this collection of essays taken from the author's blog.  On a whim I decided to read a few on our nine hour trip to Nashville and was captivated by the author's writing style, inspirational messages, and life application.  

While I do enjoy photography, it is writing that is my true passion in life.  And as I read these essays I found myself constantly nodding in agreement, "Yes, that can be true for writing as well."  Or painting...  or music.... or quilting... or any other creative endeavor.  So in the spirit of sharing the wealth of wisdom, I thought I would post over the next several weeks a few of the most powerful messages I read in the hopes that perhaps some of you would also be inspired and encouraged to follow your creative dreams.

From Craft and Vision -  Vision is Better (Volume 1) by David duChemin

If you want to succeed in your photography, whatever that means to you, then you need to fuel it with passion and hard work. If photography is the air you breathe, the thing that distracts you and not the thing from which you are distracted, if it’s the thing you most want to do, to talk about, to spend your spare time on, and if you work harder at it than you’ve ever worked on anything, you will make it. Why? Because passion, true passion is in short, short supply these days. As is hard work. Long ago we abandoned the idea of having a life’s work, a calling; those that still do their work from that sense of calling or vocation, will be unbeatable. 

So what is photography? It’s less talk, more making photographs. Do that, and do it hard. And then tomorrow, do it again. And as long as you love doing that more than something else, you’ll have filled your days and fed your soul with something you love. And to do that, by almost any sane definition, is to have succeeded. 

I think somewhere along the way many in my generation (and the next) have somehow convinced ourselves if we have a passion for something then it shouldn't involve work.  We have made "work" an antonym for "fun"  mistakenly thinking that the two cannot coexist.  Or we believe that our natural talent in a certain area somehow translates to an automatic job well done; a half-hearted effort is good enough.  And this mentality saddens me.

I believe strongly that the desires of our heart are put there by the Almighty God.  And I also believe that He equips us with the necessary gifts and talents to achieve those dreams.  However, He also requires that we do our part:  to whom much is given, much will be required (Luke 12:48)  We shouldn't ignore these dreams because we fear failure; rather, we should pursue these dreams because our life's purpose is contained within them.  

In addition, we should never take our gifts and talents for granted, or worse, ignore them.  Rather, we should strive to increase their worth through hard work and exercise (see the Parable of the Talents in Matthew 25:14-30).  Our strengths can be honed, our weaknesses can be improved.  Obstacles are inevitable but not insurmountable.  And failures are just stepping stones to success.

The pure delight of following a dream with all your heart (emotion), mind (intellect), soul (spirit), and strength (physical labor) is like none other in the world.  Why do we deny ourselves this personal satisfaction when it is so readily available...  Are we that afraid of failure?  Are we that repulsed by hard work?  I hope that is no longer the case with me. I hope I find the courage to push through the fear in order to take a risk... and in the end find joy in the journey.

Sunday Salon: A (blogging) Routine

I need routine in my life.  I feel more liberated when I have a set schedule than I do just "going with the flow." I am definitely more productive, which in turn brings me a sense of peace and satisfaction.

Now of course, I can easily carry a routinized life to an unhealthy level, so I am trying to learn to allow time for spontaneity:  a weekend trip here, a lunch date there, an impromptu get together with friends.  But I have had little routine in my life since school started, nearly three weeks now, and it is starting to affect my mood.  I feel myself getting anxious for no apparent reason; I  am short on patience; I crave to be left alone.  And my writing has suffered as well.

I promised myself that I would not waste the new-found freedom that my reduced teaching schedule provides, and I promised myself that I would be faithful to follow the call to write.  But so far the only writing I have done is to finalize lesson plans and develop a weekly blogging schedule.  For my few faithful followers, you can see how unsuccessful I have been.  I thought perhaps if I publicly shared the schedule, it might enforce a bit of personal accountability (which I desperately need).  So here are my thoughts...

In every book I have read on the subject of writing the number one piece of advice is to write.  Writers Write is the axiom.  Don't censor... don't judge... don't procrastinate.  Just write --- every day.  And while I am faithful to my morning pages and daily devotionals, that is not the kind of writing that will help me improve my craft.  I do not plan to publish everything I write to the blog, for there will be lots of unsuccessful experiments and crappy first drafts to be sure... but I do think that consistent blogging will push me to improve my writing.  To that end, here is a list of potential daily memes that I strive to maintain on a fairly consistent basis:

• Sunday Salon:   a general review of my week's reading activity.  I read all the time... although lately it has often been non-fiction books related to writing and photography.  I am yearning to return to fiction, however, and I think Carl's RIP VIII reading challenge will help.  When I maintained my book blog, I always looked forward to this event and participated on a regular basis.  This year I am especially excited because I think I am FINALLY going to read the Harry Potter series.  My youngest daughter has volunteered to read them again to help keep me accountable, and I would be happy for anyone else to join us if interested.
• Monday Crafts:  I have had a fondness for paper crafts for over a decade now --- scrapbooking memories and stamping cards are my favorites.  For the past two years I have harbored the idea of marrying this hobby with a ministry by volunteering to make greeting cards for all occasions:  birthday, get well, thinking of you...etc.  Currently I have over 400 ideas posted to my Pinterest Board, and it is time that I put action to good intention.  Posting the finished product would be a simple way for me to stay true to my word.
• Traveling Tuesday.  I like the alliteration... and I also want to focus efforts on this style of writing for two reasons.  I want to relive the notable adventures of the past, and perhaps uncover a few insights that can only be found with the perspective of a few years' distance.  But also, I want to hone this craft .. this vision that I have of pairing one photo with one essay ... so that when we retire and begin our extensive journeys to England, France, and Italy ... I will feel confident in making this dream a reality. 
• Writing Wednesday (the mnemonic device of alliteration has always thrilled me).  I like the idea of reviewing my writing progress in the middle of the week.  I can easily look back to see what I have done, and I can begin to look ahead and plan future goals.
• Photography Thursday:   For me, Photography and Writing go hand in hand, you know... a picture is worth a thousand words.  If I am going to practice my travel writing skills for future adventures, then I must practice my photography skills as well.  I love reading about the subject, and can spend hours viewing photos on sharing sites such as Flickr and 500pix, but somehow I fail to translate this passion to actually taking pictures myself.  I want this to change and I hope that a weekly deadline will help me to stay focused.
• Weekend Cooking has been a meme that I have adored since its inception four years ago.  In a previous life (that is, long before my teaching career), I was a part-time caterer, but I have always enjoyed creating in the kitchen.  I hope to rekindle that passion - and share the journey along with (hopefully) some tasty recipes and cookbook reviews.

I have lots of ideas and great intentions.  I just hope that I can be faithful to myself to pursue them.

Sunday Salon: Books on Journaling

I wish I could say I have always journaled.  Re-reading old notebooks filled with daily activities and harbored secrets would provide great insight into who I am today.  Fond memories could be relived over and over again, and documentation of answered prayers and dreams-come-true would bring hope in times of difficulty.  I think I have always wanted to be a journaler, but once I start writing it becomes difficult to stop, and the time commitment seemed too great.

About four years ago I began the practice of Morning Pages as outlined in Julia Cameron's popular book, The Artist's Way.  I use an online website that tallies my daily entry of 750 words.  Much of what I write is a retelling of the events the day before.  There is little soul-searching in these early morning snippets, but it does clear away the cobwebs and helps me to practice the writing process.

Last year I began a devotional journal, which I added to this morning writing routine.  I use the popular website, YouVersion, to access a daily devotional message and the scripture which inspired it.  This method of journaling helps me to connect with my spiritual self.  In this journal I tend to reflect on my past in order to gain insight into my present, and then discern where God would like to direct my path in the future.  Where the morning pages are more factual in nature, the devotional pages are more insightful and thought-provoking.

This past spring I was introduced to the concept of Expressive Writing, a style of journaling that focuses on emotions and feelings rather than the events that caused them.  First developed by James Pennebaker, Chair of Psychology at the University of Texas, Austin, this kind of writing has proved to have tremendous mental as well as physical health benefits.  Since April I have read many books on the generic topic of journaling as well as the specific idea of journaling to promote healing.  I thought it might be of value to some of you if I provided a quick summary of those I considered most noteworthy.

Writing as a Way of Healing (by Louise DaSalvo)  The author references Pennebaker throughout the book, but her writing style is very easy to understand (whereas I found the works by Pennebaker to be too laden with scientific jargon).  One of the quotes that I highlighted from the book is found on page 31:
I didn't know that if you want to write, you must follow your desire to write.  And that your writing will help you unravel the knots in your heart.  I didn't know that you could write simply to take care of yourself, even if you have no desire to publish your work.  I didn't know that if you want to become a writer, eventually you'll learn through your writing - and only through writing - all you need to know about your craft.  And that while you're learning, you're engaging in soul-satisfying, deeply nurturing labor.  I didn't know that if you want to write and don't because you don't feel worthy enough or able enough, not writing will eventually begin to erase who you are.

A  Voice of Her Own (by Marlene Schiwy)  I found this gem at the popular used bookstore in Nashville, McKay's Books.  A four dollar investment yielded a treasure of insightful information.  Here is a quote found on page 99:
Your diary is your one place in life where all of the inner voices that clamor for attention can speak and be heard.  Most of them have been suppressed for so long that they won't speak out at all if they anticipate harsh criticism.  Be gentle with them.  

There are two internal figures that exist in all of us:  the muse and the editor.  But if the editor kicks in prematurely, the muse gets edited right out of existence.

Journal to the Self (by Kathleen Adams)  To be honest I don't remember where I first heard of this book.  It could have been recommended reading from one of the classes I took this summer, or it could have been a suggestion on a popular book site of people who purchased this book also purchased... In any case, there were some useful nuggets within, like this found on page 42 (my formatting):
What it means to write naturally:
*  You trust your inner wisdom to guide you to the places you need to go.
*  You let yourself be you
*  There is only one person who can write the story of you --- YOU.
*  You pick up your journal when the mood hits, and put it down when the mood shifts.

The Story of Your Life (by Mandy Aftel)  Absolutely fabulous book!  I just finished it this week and it will definitely become a permanent fixture on my personal bookshelves.  In essence the book states that we are the authors of our own lives.  We may not be able to change the past, but we can change our perspective of past events.  We may not have complete control over our future, but we do have the ability to adjust our plots if we do not like the story we are living.  I think I learned as much about literary analysis by reading this book as I did about private journaling.  One of the many quotes that I chose to write down is found on page 26:
Plot in fiction is constructed by the author and laid out for the reader.  Plot in life is more like a mystery we try to solve by telling and retelling stories.  In life our stories are always open-ended, evolving and changing to reflect our own growth.  Key points to remember about plotting:

• All plots are character driven.  We use plotting to understand character - our own and everyone else.
• Plots are thoughts, feelings, actions and events that we shape into narratives through language.   Words help us to develop and crystallize our sense of who we are.  We create, define, and revise our identities by choosing what to include in our plots and how to express it.
• Successful plotting depends on our willingness to scrutinize our stories and look for patterns that reveal deeper story.  Unsuccessful plotting takes no thought at all.

Writing Down Your Soul (by Janet Connor)  This book was on the recommended reading list of the Spiritual Journaling class I took this summer.  I found this book quite practical as it gives a detailed list of questions (about 20-25 pages worth...) to answer in an effort to reconnect with your deeper self.  I have not answered all the questions yet (as a matter of fact, I have just barely started), but I intend to refer to these prompts over the next several months.  The author details some of the major differences between soul journaling and other forms of journaling on page 246:

Soul Journaling....

*  Begins with a personal writing ritual

*  Happens in a sacred place

*  Includes deep breathing

*  Directly addresses "the voice" (for me, the voice would be God)

*  Involves writing at the same time for 30 days

*  Writing fast 

*  Engaging all five senses

*  Does not judge, evaluate or edit what appears on the page

*  Activates "the voice" with questions

*  Provides a process to recognize and partner with the inner critic

*  Elicits guidance to improve life

Journaling as a Spiritual Practice (by Helen Cepero)  Another book recommended during the Spiritual Writing course and the one that I found most helpful to me.  The author is more explicit in her view of God as the inner voice, which for me was a point of common interest.  For others, this may not be your particular point of view.  The following quote, found on page 32, would be indicative of the tone, message and purpose of this entire book:

One of the best gifts of a journal is that it gives you a place to show up.  As you write you may discover where you actually are.  When you know where you are, you may also see what is true, hear from your own voice, gain an understanding of something that has troubled or puzzled you, or savor again a joy that might have slid by unnoticed.  Most of all, you gain a clearer view of God's presence with you, in you, and around you.

While I may not be a life-long journaler, I know that I will continue journaling for the rest of my life.  And I will always be on the lookout for books that will help me to reap the greater benefit from this practice.  If you have a favorite book on this subject, I would welcome the recommendation.

Writing Projects: Travel Journals

Today's entry is a coming together of data from a variety of sources which have inspired me to create as well as move forward in my writing endeavors.  Chronologically, this is how it all melded together.

In January, 2012, I took an online travel writing class with Dave Fox, the author of Globejotting, a book I enjoyed reading prior to my trip to Paris.  In that book, Dave not only taught how to maintain a travel journal while on vacation, but he also encouraged pre-journaling as a way of exploring expectations and increasing anticipation prior to a trip.... and then post-journaling as a way of slowing down the memories and writing with depth of insight and awareness.

At the beginning of the summer I began an online journaling class from Susannah Conway in which she encouraged participants to maintain an every day journal as well as a "dream" journal.  I struggle greatly with the concept of dreams:  I rarely remember my night dreams once I wake up, and I keep a close rein on those I might ponder during the day.  I fear they would only lead to disappointment.  BUT... I do allow myself to dream of future vacation destinations.  I filed away her information, but chose to focus on the daily journal for the time being.

In June I took a Travel Writing class at the Iowa Summer Writing Festival and through a series of writing prompts, solidified my travel dreams. Perhaps I will share the full essay in this space another time, but for now, I will just share the essence:

I do not yearn to travel the world.  It is not because I do not find other cultures worthy of visit or study, but it is because I wish to become intimate with every place I visit, and that is simply not possible on a breadth scale.  I suppose my travels mirror my friendships:  I would prefer to have a few intimate friends than several casual acquaintances.  I wish to travel and live and fully know a few cultures than experience the tourist relationship of several.

 The essay focused on four distinct places:  New York City... Paris... London... and Italy (I simply cannot narrow the choice to just one city in this captivating country).  But my desire goes beyond a short-term visit... that is simply not enough for me.  I yearn to take up residence for at least three months in each of these locations and experience the daily life as a native.  The class comments I received after sharing my piece were, "You write with such conviction... you will make this happen."  And that got me thinking....

Rather than creating one all-encompassing dream journal, I will create a dream travel journal.  And rather than cramming all the dreams into one large journal, I will develop one for each destination.  And rather than using collage materials culled from magazines, I would use my own photographs, and stickers, and paper collected for scrapbooking projects.  The wheels started turning... and the project took shape.

I already owned the photo boxes from an impromptu purchase two years ago.  I have quite the collection of decorative card stock and scrapbooking embellishments for imagined projects that have yet to take place.  My collection even extends to a few rubber stamp sets that embody the passion to travel.  I had recently purchased the "perfect" journal for New York City, and knew that others must exist for different popular cities.  It was all coming together:  the dreams, the supplies, the desire, the determination, and the purpose.  

While the timing of these extensive travels might be several years away, I can fan the flame in the present.  I can do some post-journaling of past trips and delve into the inner journey experience as well as recall the sensory details of the physical trip.  Using the decorative items, I could have some fun by adding color and whimsical images.  I could also do some pre-journaling exploration of what I would hope to accomplish by living as a native in these iconic cities.  And all of this activity would help me to hone my skills as a writer.

I have attempted arts and crafts too many times to trust myself to follow through on a project of this magnitude.  So I tried to develop a system to manage the process.  Each box is a self-contained unit with a pair of scissors, adhesive, and journaling pen; paper, stickers, stamps, etc that are focused on its particular region; and decorative washi tape in coordinating colors.  When the mood strikes to write about a particular experience... London for example... I need only grab my London box to capitalize on that thought.  

The supplies in the Zabar's bag (one of my favorite foodie shops on the Upper West Side of Manhattan) are general travel decorations, as well as useful cutting tools to trim paper or photos.  This bag will also be useful to the process, and allow for easy transport.

So while the days of carefree travel to exotic destinations may be a little ways off, the inspiration to make such trips a reality is right at my fingertips.

Iowa Summer Writing Conference - FABULOUS!!

Old Capitol Building...
University of Iowa campus

I have just completed my second writing adventure and it was absolutely amazing!  I have learned that a college campus feels like a home away from home to me... and I relish the experience.  I have definitely found my adult summer camp ... and I hope to return for at least one writing course every year (one woman in our class will celebrate her 75th birthday next month.  I would love to be alive enough to participate in this camp experience when I am her age!)

The Spiritually Journaling class was exactly what I expected:  probing writing prompts that help me to focus on the important priorities of life.  The instructor was absolutely perfect in every way:  knowledgeable, informative, with a calming presence.  The students in the class were varied, from all over the country and across all aspects of faith - but despite the diversity, there was a high level of respect and compassion for everyone.  As an added bonus... I was able to attend this class with my darling sister-in-law, which made it all the more special.

While many of the prompts were quite personal, I did share this draft essay with the class and received some positive feedback.  I thought it might be appropriate to share here so you could get a flavor of the experience.  The idea came from the book, Journaling as a Spiritual Practice by Helen Cepero in which she outlines the spiritual compass:

• East = Sunrise or New Beginnings/Transformations
• South = Sunny or Creativity/Imagination
• West = Sunset or things that need to be "let go"
• North = "true north" guiding principles that lead us to our purpose in life

Letting Go of Old Beliefs

I have often read in the Bible, and heard often preached, that we are not saved by works but by faith.  Yet I have lived most of my life striving to earn favor by working hard, with perfectionism leading the way.  I considered it the ultimate compliment if my mom would say, "I don't know how you do it all?"  Surely I have value now I thought.  Surely I am good enough I thought.

But I don't feel good enough - ever.  There is always someone who does it better or faster or easier than I do.  And I have come to realize that living a life focused on good works has only caused me to become weary, disillusioned, and empty.

I need to bury the idea that I have value because of what I do... and I need to adopt the concept that I have value simply because I am.  But that is far easier said than done.  Admitting value of self requires love and acceptance of self... which I feel is rooted in the conscious awareness of God's love and acceptance of me.  But there are all kinds of old tapes playing in my head that try to counter that truth.

My elementary years were spent at a parochial school.  We attended chapel every Friday and the Bible was our only history textbook.  I LOVED school and earned many gold stars for memorizing scripture (interesting... even then "good works" were reinforced as a way of earning favor...).  But the God I remember being taught was the God of the Old Testament - the one who had so many "thou shalt nots" and who didn't seem to think twice about exacting revenge on those who failed to keep His commands.  "Fear the Lord" was always preached... but as a young child fear meant "be scared"... and I was.  And I continue to be.

I do not remember hearing "God is Love" until I was in my early 30s.  In fact, I never realized the Old and New Testaments were even connected.  I liked the teachings of Jesus:  "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you"  ... "Turn the other cheek" ... "Do not worry" ... I even liked the command to love God with your whole heart, mind, and soul.  But ... then the mental tape comes in with ... "or else He will exact His vengeance on your life."

I think I have come to an important crossroads in life.  I simply do not have the mental nor physical resources to keep on living this relentless life of works.  But I believe... no, I know.... I will not find the peace I am searching for until I reconcile this discrepancy of God's character.  I want to believe He is a God of unconditional love.  I want to believe He loves me just as I am.  I want to believe that He longs for me to love and accept myself.  I want to believe that I have value and purpose and there is a way to marry the desires of my heart (which He put there) with a vocation that helps others (which He mandates).

Lord, I do want to believe... please help my disbelief.  Please reveal your true character to me and help me to erase those mental tapes forever.  Amen.

Writing Dreams and Routines

Over a year ago a good friend and I joined Ali Edward's class entitled 31 Things.  The concept was simple yet profound.  Ali offered a list of 31 items (one for each day of the month) that we were to photograph and then write a journal entry.  Talk about a class that is right up my ally!!  I have had a three year dream of marrying my photography endeavors with my writing to create a photographic essay, so to speak. Well, that enthusiasm lasted the sum total of one day and then life happened and the list was filed away.

But July 1st marks the beginning of the second half of the year and I thought it would be a great time to resurrect this project.  Now, I believe that rules are to be followed and a classroom syllabus is more than a guideline, but in an effort to lighten up a bit and have some fun, I have decided to view the list as a starting point rather than a mandate set in stone.  The prompt for "writing" does not appear until day 23... and there are some prompts that I may not use at all.  But that's ok.  I am slowly returning to the joy of taking pictures, and I am moving forward on my photo essay dream.

I will not necessarily post all the entries on this blog, but I thought today's was relevant and fitting.

I have maintained a fairly consistent morning writing routine for the past few months.  I complete my morning pages (the wonderful idea of 'brain dumping' first thing upon waking up as Julia Cameron describes in her book, The Artist's Way) and then review two daily devotionals and journal my thoughts and prayers.

All of this activity takes place on line.  I have fully embraced the computer format of writing (I can type much faster than I can hand-write and therefore my fingers can keep up with my brain)... and I even use YouVersion to supply my devotional readings and Bible Gateway to provide my scripture references.  I discovered the online journaling site, Penzu, which I absolutely adore.  For a mere $19/year I have access to unlimited journals that I can customize (to a certain extent) with my own creative design.  In addition, these journals can be password protected, if desired, and all entries can be tagged for easy reference at a later time.  This morning routine works well, and I have no desire to attempt to fix what is not broken.

However... I have long harbored the dream of regularly writing at an outdoor cafe:  sipping on a hot espresso, pondering the next line to write in my moleskine notebook, joining the tradition of other great writers such as Hemingway and Fitzgerald.  And of course, if the cafe were in Paris... along the Seine... with the Eiffel Tower looming in the distance... that would be magnifique! Quite the romantic notion indeed!

But I have this odd hangup of not wanting to sit in a restaurant (or cafe) by myself.  I feel so self-conscious and wonder what others might think of the odd eccentric sitting in the corner writing by herself.  And I also have this hang-up with perfectionism:  wanting every pen stroke to be of genius quality rather than brainstorming dribble.  And so I have allowed these negative thoughts to prevent me from pursuing this simple pleasure in a writer's life.

However.... last summer my son was kind enough... and innovative enough... to transform a homely spare bedroom into a Parisian paradise.  The walls are textured to resemble European stucco; the table and chairs are reminiscent of an authentic bistro; and the small details of red geraniums and lamppost lighting captures the true essence of a literary cafe.  I have my writing dreams within my grasp, and yet I have ignored them.... until now.

While I love the speed and seamless perfection of a word processor (the delete key is my best friend), I think that handwriting with old-fashioned paper and pen causes us to be more methodical... so that our fingers cause our thoughts to slow down and capture small sensory details rather than merely fleeting ideas.   And handwriting is as much an act of artistic expression as it is a means to record thoughts.  Handwriting is as unique and personal as our fingerprints --- readily identifiable by those who love us. When I was a scrapbooking consultant I would ask students:  wouldn't you rather have a recipe handwritten by your grandmother rather than one that is typed?  And the answer was always a resounding yes.. handwriting captures personality, individuality and emotional make-up; a keyboard only captures words.

And so I plan to revisit the Paris room on a regular basis.  I plan to sit at the bistro table with a cup of coffee... or glass of tea... of goblet of wine... and stare out the geranium framed window and slow down my thoughts.  I plan to daydream for the first time in years... and write nonsense or whimsy in one of my many journals with different colored pens and have fun doing what I love to do.

Writing: A Gift to Myself

I was in the bookstore the other day (my favorite relaxing spot...) and found the most exquisite leather journal.... with a price tag to match.  I typically use the Moleskine ruled Volant notebooks, and even then I try to purchase with a coupon.  But this journal continued to beckon me.  I am sure I picked it up and put it down half a dozen times, but I could not bring myself to make the purchase.

And then.... I looked through my wallet and happened across an unused gift card from a kind student.  It was the perfect gift to celebrate the end of an academic year... and the beginning of a literary summer.

The rich brown leather is soft and supple;
It is the perfect size to carry and feels at home in the palm of my hand;
The embossed letter on the front (dated 1896) is the perfect adornment.

The leather tie not only keeps the book tightly closed,
but it provides the perfect place to store my journaling pen.

Handcrafted in Florence, Italy.... bellisimo

The pages lie relatively flat for easy journaling,
and the lines are the perfect narrow width for me.

Travel Writing ... Final Post

I am on my way home from Iowa City.  It is approximately six hours door to door and I am sure that Geoff and I will talk, listen to tunes, and observe the flat green landscape as we contemplate separate thoughts.  It was a great weekend get away, but I am ready to return to the familiarity of home, and spend some time unpacking all I have learned this weekend.

In the meantime, I thought I would share one last writing prompt (we did more... but some are not worthy of public display...)

The instructions were to follow the format of a published essay by David Franzen, where he gives specific facts about place in the first paragraph, introduces the character of the narrator in the second paragraph, and finally develops the main idea/theme in the third paragraph.  Here is my attempt:

Manhattan Island

The Big Apple:  a rather interesting nickname for a city that houses more skyscrapers than trees and more asphalt than grass.  No, The city that never sleeps is a more apt description for this sprawling metropolis, covering three hundred square miles and incorporating five distinct boroughs.  But when you hear New York City the first image that typically pops into mind is the lights, sounds, and smells of Times Square located in the center of Manhattan, an island that only measures 13.4 miles long and 2.3 miles wide, but houses about 1.6 million people.  With limited surface area, the only way to accommodate this growth is to build up… and up they did.  Multi-storied buildings of brick, granite, and glass surround you; sidewalks are crowded with rushing commuters and tourists weaving in and out and around one another; streets are congested with cars, buses and bright yellow taxis.  It is easy to feel overwhelmed when you witness the city from this bird’s eye view.  But move in closer, take a side street, and you will discover the individual neighborhoods, each with its own distinct cultural flavor and population, that make this impersonal city a welcoming home.

The year was 1984 and we had been married for two years living in Connecticut.  Geoff had been making the one-hour commute into the city that entire time, and I had been doing the same for about nine months.  The fourteen-hour days and frequent train delays were taking their toll, not to mention the $250 monthly commuting expense.  We decided that it was time for a change, and three months later we were moving into our one-bedroom coop apartment at 160 Bleecker Street.   Located in the heart of Greenwich Village, home to NYU, Washington Square Park, and numerous jazz and comedy clubs, the area was always buzzing with people, especially on the weekends.  But during the week, the village was surprisingly suburban:  commuters walking to the subway, mothers strolling their infants, children in uniform making their way to school.  Greenwich Village has a distinct Italian flare, and we took full advantage of the freshly baked bread at the local bakery, the homemade mozzarella and salamis at the corner butcher, and the hand cut pasta at Raffettos around the corner.  Each summer the Feast of St. Joseph would take place on Sullivan Street, just one block to the west and two blocks south of our apartment.  For several days the vendors would line both sides of the street, selling authentic sausage and peppers, stuffed calzones, or my favorite, zeppoles… little fried pieces of pizza dough doused in powder sugar and served in a brown paper bag.  I am fairly certain that an over-indulgence of this craving caused me to go into labor with my first child.  We were a part of this community for four years, and looking back, I can say with assurance that it was the best four years of my life.

I have a dream to return to New York.  Not in an effort to relive those glory days, but rather with a desire to rediscover new ones.  I will sublet an apartment, but not in the village - perhaps on the upper west side, walking distance to Central Park, or Murray Hill, where good friends currently reside.  I want to experience a new neighborhood with a different flare.  Revisiting a few of the old haunts, or at least those that are still around after three decades, will certainly be on the list, but I also want to take time to become intimately familiar with new ones that speak to my current passions and desires.  Walking will once again become my primary mode of transportation; I plan to leave my car in Kansas.  The local market will play an integral role in my daily menu planning.. I will explore the park and find a bench that has been waiting for me to return after all these years, and just sit, observe, and write.  One true highlight will be to take advantage of the rich artistic culture of the city, something I took for granted before, and therefore never made time to visit.  I will become a member of the MET and visit any time I have just a couple of hours to spare, and I will frequently visit the other museums in the area as well.  I may even take a photography class at the New School like I did so long ago when I was indulging my new-found interest in cooking.  With so much to see and do and experience, I hope that I have enough time.

New York City is known as the great melting pot of America.  It represents the pilgrimage that so many immigrants took to find a better life.  This is the nickname that resonates best with me.